The closest photo I can find that illustrates my perception during my "awakening." In truth
there was nothing but an intense energy I would say.
One day while I was practicing walking meditation alone
during my first retreat at Plum Village in France,
in about November 2014,
the whole world disappeared.
"I" could not see my body; my body was not present.
All that was left was this incredibly powerful,
"intense and overwhelming "
"vibrating energy."
It appeared as a kind of light grey cloud-like matter.
But it was not clouds; it only kind of
looked like a light grey cloud-like matter.
I searched for a picture that closely resembled
the perception,
but the above photo is as close as I can come
without drawing it myself.
Terrified, I was overwhelmed, paralyzed with fear, shock.
More accurately, I would say that I was terror, fear, anxiety,
horror, shock itself.
"I" then heard a strong, clear, very powerful, I would say
masculine voice, boom out loudly and authoritatively say :
"All there is is Consciousness, Consciousness is all there is."
It continued.
during my first retreat at Plum Village in France,
in about November 2014,
the whole world disappeared.
"I" could not see my body; my body was not present.
All that was left was this incredibly powerful,
"intense and overwhelming "
"vibrating energy."
It appeared as a kind of light grey cloud-like matter.
But it was not clouds; it only kind of
looked like a light grey cloud-like matter.
I searched for a picture that closely resembled
the perception,
but the above photo is as close as I can come
without drawing it myself.
Terrified, I was overwhelmed, paralyzed with fear, shock.
More accurately, I would say that I was terror, fear, anxiety,
horror, shock itself.
"I" then heard a strong, clear, very powerful, I would say
masculine voice, boom out loudly and authoritatively say :
"All there is is Consciousness, Consciousness is all there is."
It continued.
"I' was so overwhelmed,
"I" cannot now remember what it said. But it went on for some
time, perhaps 20 minutes or more.
I really do not know; this was just an idea.
I started crying and sobbing and my face was
wet with tears. I was totally overwhelmed.
During this whole time, there was no perception of me,
in terms of body, all there was.
was this energy and this voice booming out this
overpowering wisdom, intense fear ,and a profound sense of being
stunned, overwhelmed, and paralyzed.
Finally, and suddenly the voice stopped, the cloud like
looking grey matter disappeared and that intense,
overwhelming, energy also disappeared.
"I" cannot now remember what it said. But it went on for some
time, perhaps 20 minutes or more.
I really do not know; this was just an idea.
I started crying and sobbing and my face was
wet with tears. I was totally overwhelmed.
During this whole time, there was no perception of me,
in terms of body, all there was.
was this energy and this voice booming out this
overpowering wisdom, intense fear ,and a profound sense of being
stunned, overwhelmed, and paralyzed.
Finally, and suddenly the voice stopped, the cloud like
looking grey matter disappeared and that intense,
overwhelming, energy also disappeared.
Completely overwhelmed, I walked swiftly back to the
dormitory at Plum Village where I was sharing a room
with four other women.
Thich Nhat Hahn never said anything like this would happen.
dormitory at Plum Village where I was sharing a room
with four other women.
Thich Nhat Hahn never said anything like this would happen.
I honestly do not recall the details of what happened
immediately after that.
But later, maybe the next day or that evening, I do remember
feeling more calm, whole, complete. and in control than ever before and since
then in my entire life.
This enormous sense of peace and mastery, calm and
"collectedness" was present. Settled in.
I also was aware that I had feelings of slight annoyance
and mild irritation with the presence of other people.
Shortly thereafter, slightly uneasy feelings and
thoughts arose like what was that; a little discomfort arose, and I left the Monastery. I
thought I saw some of the sisters watching me with what, in retrospect might
have been intuition of what had happened, (my projection),
but I was too scared people might think I was delusional
to share what happened with anyone, and I never did until now.
But later, maybe the next day or that evening, I do remember
feeling more calm, whole, complete. and in control than ever before and since
then in my entire life.
This enormous sense of peace and mastery, calm and
"collectedness" was present. Settled in.
I also was aware that I had feelings of slight annoyance
and mild irritation with the presence of other people.
Shortly thereafter, slightly uneasy feelings and
thoughts arose like what was that; a little discomfort arose, and I left the Monastery. I
thought I saw some of the sisters watching me with what, in retrospect might
have been intuition of what had happened, (my projection),
but I was too scared people might think I was delusional
to share what happened with anyone, and I never did until now.
Never ever did Thich Nhat Hahn ever say that
anything like this would happen as a result of practice.
I only "thought" I would get a a little more relaxed.
I never "thought " anything like this would happen or that I would feel
so good, so whole and complete.
When I got back to the monastery, I did
write down from best I remembered what I heard. And it is locked in a suitcase in
storage unit with U Haul & Storage in Columbus,
Ohio. I have not had the courage to read it since that time.
A few days later I left the monastery. Without a plan, I
returned home to my "home home" in Columbus, Ohio, where I had not lived for many years
and where my mother and cousins from my father's side of the family lived.
I continued at home to practice mindfulness according to Thich Nhat Hahn's teachings.
I listened daily to his dharma talks and guided meditations.
I also listened to his morning and evening meditation practices of his communities of monks and nuns.
They included silent meditation, chanting, touching the earth, and mindful walking.
All of these practices kept me grounded and also continued to grow my awareness
and transform my mind, which I have since learned is nothing more than my thoughts.
I started spending more time with my mother and my brother whom I also had
not seen for many years
My brother came to visit both my mother and my self for the first time in many years. My whole life changed.
I never "thought " anything like this would happen or that I would feel
so good, so whole and complete.
When I got back to the monastery, I did
write down from best I remembered what I heard. And it is locked in a suitcase in
storage unit with U Haul & Storage in Columbus,
Ohio. I have not had the courage to read it since that time.
A few days later I left the monastery. Without a plan, I
returned home to my "home home" in Columbus, Ohio, where I had not lived for many years
and where my mother and cousins from my father's side of the family lived.
I continued at home to practice mindfulness according to Thich Nhat Hahn's teachings.
I listened daily to his dharma talks and guided meditations.
I also listened to his morning and evening meditation practices of his communities of monks and nuns.
They included silent meditation, chanting, touching the earth, and mindful walking.
All of these practices kept me grounded and also continued to grow my awareness
and transform my mind, which I have since learned is nothing more than my thoughts.
I started spending more time with my mother and my brother whom I also had
not seen for many years
My brother came to visit both my mother and my self for the first time in many years. My whole life changed.
My practice became the center and focus of my life, my "raison d'etre." My work changed as well. I left the food movement per se; eventually I rejoined it but with a new perspective which seemed aimed more at fostering my own and our own human spiritual growth, healing and transformation, as the most powerful way to transform our food system, our declining health, protect our currentclimate and our environment, our human ecological niche, upon which we depend to live. None of this was planned. It just happened.
I also returned to my work promoting solidarity and exchanges between our US and Cuban Agroecology movements creating.an exchange with Finca Del Medio and the Casimiro family, one of Cuba's most successful family and agroecological farms and reviving our Cuba-USA Agroecology Network, I had founded years before.
My "work' was imbued with a higher level of fun, ingenuity, insight, originality, energy, aliveness and liveliness, and creativity. I had more fun! I also worked less.
I spent the next years studying
intensively Thich Naht Hahn's practices
and practicing at the monastery at least three
months every year in order
to continue my own healing, transformation and spiritual
growth. I also
practiced in other traditions, the Yoruba faith in
Cuba, a powerful and fast working
spiritual practice which uses skillful and knowledgeable
drumming to still the mind and allow human connection to
"the ultimate reality."
I also had the opportunity to practice in the Hindu faith which uses "Yoga"
as a spiritual practice, another practice to still the mind and to sink into the consciousness that we actually are.
Someone gave me a copy of the Christian based famous spiritual teaching, "A
Course in Miracles," in about 2017 at a 3 month Silent Retreat, and I studied it for about a year, and return to it periodically, when the urge arises.
I also participated in a 3 month, silent Vipassana Buddhist meditation retreat.
It took me about 4 years to figure out what had happened the first time I practiced at
Plum Village when the whole world disappeared, and to make peace with that experience and to
integrate it into my life. Now I realize it was part of a process of increasingly sinking into
"the ultimate reality" as Thich Nhat Hahn calls it, pure consciousness, awareness, and bliss, sat, chit and ananda, as the Hindus call it, or God as the Christians call it!
Now that some time has passed, I want to do it again!!!!!! Smile! However now "my true presence, " awareness itself, pure consciousness, spirit or wisdom itself appears in a
less overwhelming manner.
Late at night, around 3 am, when everything is still, this pure,
formless, "ethereal energy" "bubbles-up" from about my gut area. This ethereal formless ether, as I call it,is perhaps what the Christians call 'spirit," and the Buddhists and the Hindus call pure consciousness or pure awareness itself.
I spent the next years studying
intensively Thich Naht Hahn's practices
and practicing at the monastery at least three
months every year in order
to continue my own healing, transformation and spiritual
growth. I also
practiced in other traditions, the Yoruba faith in
Cuba, a powerful and fast working
spiritual practice which uses skillful and knowledgeable
drumming to still the mind and allow human connection to
"the ultimate reality."
I also had the opportunity to practice in the Hindu faith which uses "Yoga"
as a spiritual practice, another practice to still the mind and to sink into the consciousness that we actually are.
Someone gave me a copy of the Christian based famous spiritual teaching, "A
Course in Miracles," in about 2017 at a 3 month Silent Retreat, and I studied it for about a year, and return to it periodically, when the urge arises.
I also participated in a 3 month, silent Vipassana Buddhist meditation retreat.
It took me about 4 years to figure out what had happened the first time I practiced at
Plum Village when the whole world disappeared, and to make peace with that experience and to
integrate it into my life. Now I realize it was part of a process of increasingly sinking into
"the ultimate reality" as Thich Nhat Hahn calls it, pure consciousness, awareness, and bliss, sat, chit and ananda, as the Hindus call it, or God as the Christians call it!
Now that some time has passed, I want to do it again!!!!!! Smile! However now "my true presence, " awareness itself, pure consciousness, spirit or wisdom itself appears in a
less overwhelming manner.
Late at night, around 3 am, when everything is still, this pure,
formless, "ethereal energy" "bubbles-up" from about my gut area. This ethereal formless ether, as I call it,is perhaps what the Christians call 'spirit," and the Buddhists and the Hindus call pure consciousness or pure awareness itself.
It engulfs me.
At times, it can have a high pitch, vibrating sound that appears to be
some kind of "universal language" that I understand.
Sometimes this formless energy surrounds me in pure bliss or pure love, and I swoon.
At times, it can have a high pitch, vibrating sound that appears to be
some kind of "universal language" that I understand.
Sometimes this formless energy surrounds me in pure bliss or pure love, and I swoon.
Sometimes it communicates, shares wisdom with me with simple one word whispers. Sometimess I
cannot find it and I suffer. That is when I know I need to slow down
to stay connected and to practice mindfulness more.
I have continued to practice at Plum Village
and Magnolia Grove Monastery, a Thich Nhat Hahn
Mindfullness Practice Center in Batesville, Mississippi,
regularly since that time. While nothing so dramatic
and powerfully transformative and healing as my first
experience has
occurred since then, I have had other experiences of the ultimate truth or reality
and continued
to grow both my understanding and my own awareness,
compassion, self, and
wisdom as well. I have continued to heal and
transform myself,
and to grow a profound understanding of this human
experience which
I now know is nothing less than
our human spiritual growth and perhaps the growth of
wisdom and knowledge, consciousness
and awareness itself.
Who knew when I was a little suffering child, teenager and young adult,
that life had so much meaning, beauty, transcendence, and healing available?
Who knew there was a "God," and that neither I nor we, nor any of us were
ever truly alone, at risk or could be harmed in any way?
Who knew life was a miracle, divine and holy in ever way?
Who knew that the truth was beyond my imagination, so beautiful and
so meaningful?
Who knew that this world was "God," pure consciousness,
awareness itself, growing its own consciousness and awareness?
Who knew that the way out was truly in?
Who knew it was impossible for us to suffer?
Who knew?
Who knew that there was "a God?" Who knew that that "God" was inside of me?
Who knew that only "God" was real?
Who knew?
Who knew that only the spiritual was real?
Who knew that this world was just an illusion? Who knew?
(Espanol)
I have continued to practice at Plum Village
and Magnolia Grove Monastery, a Thich Nhat Hahn
Mindfullness Practice Center in Batesville, Mississippi,
regularly since that time. While nothing so dramatic
and powerfully transformative and healing as my first
experience has
occurred since then, I have had other experiences of the ultimate truth or reality
and continued
to grow both my understanding and my own awareness,
compassion, self, and
wisdom as well. I have continued to heal and
transform myself,
and to grow a profound understanding of this human
experience which
I now know is nothing less than
our human spiritual growth and perhaps the growth of
wisdom and knowledge, consciousness
and awareness itself.
Who knew when I was a little suffering child, teenager and young adult,
that life had so much meaning, beauty, transcendence, and healing available?
Who knew there was a "God," and that neither I nor we, nor any of us were
ever truly alone, at risk or could be harmed in any way?
Who knew life was a miracle, divine and holy in ever way?
Who knew that the truth was beyond my imagination, so beautiful and
so meaningful?
Who knew that this world was "God," pure consciousness,
awareness itself, growing its own consciousness and awareness?
Who knew that the way out was truly in?
Who knew it was impossible for us to suffer?
Who knew?
Who knew that there was "a God?" Who knew that that "God" was inside of me?
Who knew that only "God" was real?
Who knew?
Who knew that only the spiritual was real?
Who knew that this world was just an illusion? Who knew?
(Espanol)
Un día mientras practicaba la meditación caminando solo
durante mi primer retiro en Plum Village en Francia,
aproximadamente en noviembre de 2014,
el mundo entero desapareció.
"Yo" no podía ver mi cuerpo; mi cuerpo no estaba presente.
Todo lo que quedaba era este increíblemente poderoso,
"intenso y abrumador"
"energía vibrante".
Apareció como una especie de materia similar a una nube de color gris claro.
Pero no eran nubes; es solo una especie de
parecía una materia parecida a una nube de color gris claro.
Busqué una imagen que se pareciera mucho
la percepción,
pero la foto de arriba es lo más cerca que puedo llegar
sin dibujarlo yo mismo.
Aterrado, estaba abrumado, paralizado por el miedo, la conmoción.
Más exactamente, diría que soy terror, miedo, ansiedad,
horror, conmoción en sí.
"Yo" luego escuché un fuerte, claro, muy poderoso, diría
voz masculina, retumba en voz alta y dice con autoridad:
"Todo lo que hay es Conciencia, la Conciencia es todo lo que hay".
Continuó. "Estaba tan abrumado,
"Yo" no puedo recordar ahora lo que decía. Pero continuó para algunos
tiempo, tal vez
20 minutos o más.
Realmente no lo se; esto fue solo una idea.
Empecé a llorar y a sollozar y mi cara estaba
mojado de lágrimas. Estaba totalmente abrumado.
Durante todo este tiempo, no hubo percepción de mí,
en términos de cuerpo; todo lo que había
¿Era esta energía y esta voz retumbando esta
abrumador
sabiduría, miedo intenso y una profunda sensación de ser
aturdido, abrumado
y paralizado.
Finalmente y de repente la voz se detuvo, la nube como
buscando materia gris desapareció y ese intenso,
agobiante
la energía también desapareció. Completamente abrumado.
Caminé rápidamente de regreso a la
dormitorio en Plum Village donde compartía una habitación
con otras cuatro mujeres.
Thich Nhat Hahn nunca dijo que pasaría algo así.
Sinceramente, no recuerdo los detalles de lo que pasó.
inmediatamente después de eso.
Pero más tarde, tal vez al día siguiente o esa noche, sí recuerdo
sintiendome mas tranquilo
entero, completo y en control que nunca antes y desde
luego en toda mi vida.
Esta enorme sensación de paz y dominio, calma y
"recogimiento" estaba presente. Asentado en.
También fui consciente de que tenía sentimientos de leve molestia.
e irritación leve con el
presencia de otras personas.
Poco después, sentimientos ligeramente incómodos y
Pensamientos surgieron como ¿qué fue eso?
Surgió un pequeño malestar y dejé el Monasterio. I
Pensé que vi a algunas de las hermanas mirándome
con lo que, en retrospectiva, podría
ha sido intuición de lo que había pasado, (mi proyección)
pero tenía demasiado miedo de que la gente pensara que estaba delirando
para compartir lo que pasó con nadie, y nunca lo hice hasta ahora.
Nunca jamás Thich Nhat Hahn dijo eso
algo como esto sucedería como resultado de la práctica.
Sólo "pensé" que me relajaría un poco más.
Nunca pensé "
algo como esto pasaría o que sentiría
tan bueno, tan completo y completo.
Cuando volví al monasterio, hice
escribir lo mejor que yo
recordé lo que escuché. Y está encerrado en una maleta en
unidad de almacenamiento con U Haul en Columbus,
Ohio. No he tenido el valor de leerlo desde entonces.
Unos días después dejé el monasterio. Sin un plan, yo
regresó a casa a mi "hogar hogar" en
Columbus, Ohio, donde no había vivido durante muchos años
y donde mi madre y
vivían primos de la familia de mi padre.
Seguí en casa practicando la atención plena según
a las enseñanzas de Thich Nhat Hahn.
Escuché a diario sus charlas sobre el dharma y sus meditaciones guiadas.
También escuché su meditación matutina y vespertina.
prácticas de sus comunidades de monjes y monjas.
Incluían meditación silenciosa,
cantando, tocando la tierra y caminando con atención.
Todas estas prácticas me mantuvieron
fundamentado y también seguí aumentando mi conciencia
y transformar mi mente, que he aprendido desde entonces es
nada más que mis pensamientos.
Empecé a pasar más tiempo
con mi madre y mi hermano a quien tambien tuve
no visto en muchos años
Mi hermano vino a visitarme tanto a mi madre como a mí.
por primera vez en muchos años. Toda mi vida cambió
Mi práctica se convirtió en el centro y foco de mi vida, mi
"razón de ser."
Mi trabajo también cambió. Dejé el movimiento de la comida
per se; eventualmente yo
se reincorporó, pero con una nueva perspectiva que parecía
dirigido más a fomentar mi propio y
nuestro propio crecimiento espiritual humano, sanación y
transformación, como la forma más poderosa de transformar
nuestro sistema alimentario, nuestra salud en declive, protege nuestra actual
el clima y nuestro medio ambiente, nuestro nicho ecológico humano,
de la que dependemos para vivir.
Nada de esto fue planeado.
Acaba de suceder.
También volví a mi trabajo promoviendo la solidaridad y
intercambios entre
nuestro Agroecolo cubano y estadounidense
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